Tuesday, September 18, 2007

 
The Long Tired Tale of the Jolly Mean Green Giant Queen and the Blue Line by S. Walker(move over J. K.Rollings Harry Potter Ain't Got Nothing On ME)

Today wasn't just one of those days. It was the day where I sincerely reached the edge of my crazy and held back. I'd been running around all day trying to find some long sleeve shirts for the youngins due to our recent low temps and was able to find some on sale. Then I passed my doctors appointment because seriously a regular medical exam feels like college finals or even the mcat which i have never taken. The results: HEALTHY AS A PEANUT BUT I DON"T EAT ENOUGH!! Imagine that. Oh Metabolism YOU. Time to count calories and hit the elliptical hardcore. Anywho I digress. So after picking up son and taking him to the Crown Plaza to "let loose" because why in the world would he use the bathroom before we left his school WHEN I ASKED if he had to use the bathroom! But i digress again.

So we hit the crowded blue line about 4:15 . We stand most of the ride by the doors and in front of a lady and her daughter who had the priveledge of being seated. I watch them gather their things and prepare to get up as we hit the Eastern Market stop. The mother gestured for us to get the seat. So as I swiftly move Dahvi and myself to the seat, this tall monster woman in green tweed blazer with a scrunched face bum rushes us and sits in the isle seat. WHAT!!

I'm like" Uhh Mam, We were just about to sit down here."

She says "There's still a seat here", gesturing to the seat beside her. I said in calm slightly rising voice with conviction and all the respect in the world,

" Well NO Mam, you saw us moving to this seat. We were right in front of the seat. AND besides that, the lady who just left gestured to us
to sit there."

NOW People, I realize my last point had no grounds. I mean the lady that sat there before with her daughter doesn't own Metro or that seat. But I was feeling myself getting heated.

THen Ms. Bumrush says

" Ms. THAT WHITE LADY don't own that seat. And I don't care. It's crowded."

So I reiterate in a stern conversational tone,

"Mam, What you did was very rude. The point is you saw us like everyone else on the train and decided to push past us anyway."

At which point I felt myself shaking a little. And I wondered to myself was this the brink?Was this the moment right before someone gets choked out? It felt similar to road rage( though I rarely drive but have experienced it). This was Metro Rage. This was a mean game of musical chairs without the quirky "do do do and laughter." This was my crazy. I felt warm and cold all at once.

I looked at Dahvi whom I had somehow managed to place in the seat beside THe Jolly Green Mean Giant and I could feel the tears push forward but I held them back. i held them back with everything I had. Nah she wasn't going to see me cry. I couldn't give her the satisfaction.

So I took a deep breath, grabbed my phone and started dialing random numbers. Who the hell do I call? Do I need to call the police? Why and what would I tell them. Could they arrest her for seat stealing and bumrushing without an execuse me during the height of rushour? Uhh no. I closed my phone, told Dahvi to sit back and looked blankly at the various faces around me. I received a few tired smiles that seem to say
Don't worry about this lady. She'll get hers and etc etc.

All the while I'm doing my best to stop shaking but my shaking isn't too noticeable and it's mostly in my sweaty hands. And then we reach Stadium Armory at which time an older lady with a cane gets on. She's standing so I move Dahvi and allow her to sit down. She says Thank You. Folks at this point I don't know how I started telling the older lady beside Jolly Green about what Jolly Green just did. But we started again.

And still in my regular voice with a little pitchiness to it I said

"You know what Mam you came across the right person. Next time you may not come across someone so nice." Wait folks. Wait for it. I said it. "God Bless You." Now i've never claimed to a religious person nor would ever be the type to utter those words. I do believe I'm spiritual and have been blessed etc etc. (see previous blogs) But i was never that "GOd BLess You Person." But it felt right at that moment.

And Ms. Jolly Bumrush goes" God has already blessed me."
"Well, I hope he blesses you again." I wasn't trying to be clever or anything. That's all I could muster because obviously that's what God wanted me to say. As the train halted to our stop I made a pathway for the older lady with the cane to get out. As the D-man and I made our way out of the door, another lady in a yellow blazer leaned to my ear and said
"And God's going to keep blessing YOU." and patted me on my shoulder. Somehow I mustered a meager Thanks before stepping out onto the platform and the flood of tears rushed down my face. My crazy and all my anger soaked my entire face. I tried to turn from Dahvi and called Lynn. I knew I couldn't call Carl knowing he may be on the next train and hearing me cry would make him wanna come and wreck shop. I flipped my phone and pushed the last person who had called me. i pushed the button so hard my fingers were stinging. My homie Lynn answered the phone and I let it all all out.

What she said was I should be proud that I kept my cool, didn't curse, didn't even yell and acted like a civilized person. And more than that showed my son how I can stand my ground and still maintain some level of respect even if i wasn't shown any. I can honestly say I would've acted the same way even if Dahvi wasn't with me. But if I was alone I would've probably remained on the train and stared her down all the way to Largo because I know that's where she was going.

When we get home, Dahvi hugs me. I tell him I'm just tired, told him that some people are mean and that I'm okay. I tried to keep it simple. I tried to keep it simple even on the blue line where common courtesy isn't a thought.

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Monday, September 17, 2007

 
My Pop Pop and Black Love ?

Yesterday my mother called and said my grandfather had a stroke. It comes as no surprise knowing that my grandfather has diabetes, hypertension, high blood pressure and high cholesterol. He used to smoke 5 or more packs of jacks a day for a good number of years as well. His eating habits are horrible to put it nicely. He's also a catankerous man who refuses to hang out with any of his fellow VA's(Korean War) and just eats and watches westerns all day everyday. And even though my mother scolds him, sneaks the bad food out of the house, and refuses to take him grocery shopping every week it was only a matter of time before something was going to happen. I pray for my grandfather who I call Pop Pop. He's stubborn enough to do a complete 360 and I hope this time he does.

BLack Love ?

Yesterday we took the kids to the Black Love Festival. The festival has been going on for 10 years. And each year it's gotten much better and crazier. I was sad to find out there really wasn't enough activities for the kids. And believe me there were kids coming out of every crevice of the park. To me some of the performances lacked originality and were not how do say kid-friendly or even okay enough for my children to half listen to. Between the shouting, cursing other cultures and a chant that involved Nigga, I was done. I thought to myself where's the love. I felt more anger from some of the groups than anything. I was glad to see some awards given to some of the elders in our community and the founder Kymone finally being recognized by the city for his efforts. I'm proud of Kymone. However I do challenge him to think more of others and to think of other ways to reach our folks. And to let his artists know as well. i don't believe in censorship but I do believe in respect. Hell I'm a traditionalist in a lot of ways. The bottom line is don't teach my children it's okay to say Nigger or Nigga. The word has come out my mouth before in the past but I have since curbed it thinking of my mother and my grandparents and their parents. Hell thinking about my kids. I support Kymone and his efforts. I'll always support any help to better our folks but it starts with responsibility of self and a new perspective. Let's not be limited in our approaches of black love or unity. And can we at least add facepainting to that. Okay well maybe Great Black American Face Painting. sorry couldn't help it.

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Thursday, September 13, 2007

 
Randomness

Yes I'm back. I needed to take a break. We had a cool and humid summer. THe kids are back in school. Yes its' true. The D man is officially in preschool and showing all his mates how ITS really done. Phina is at a new school this year. So far I love the school, her teacher and the diverse community. both of them are doing well and seem happy. I've been busy finishing up my second play. Keep it on the hush. Ha ha. That's all I'll say about that. I've been writing a lot of songs lately and reading. I've been staying on Carl to finish his record. It should be done by Oct 1. We did the song order last night. BUTTERS! Watch out Kanye and Fifty. There's a new sheriff in town. If yall know me, rarely do you hear me chat up my hubby's talents. But he's got some fire. If he didn't I'd def speak on it. It's been a long time coming. I look forward to this fall/winter hopefully securing cool employment, ridding my life of debt, purchasing some property, putting on some dope events (FCS in the house), putting up my play and if the money's right traveling to Seattle(miss ya denee), Vegas(w homie lynn for our BDAYs), Austin(me and my hubby) and PARIS(with my homie R let's make it happen). I think I may skip Miami this year. I wanna go where everybody doesn't know my name!!

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