Sunday, November 30, 2008
Hello good people. I know you've missed be but really where have I gone. Well yes as far as my blog about parenting and other dangerous jobs (insert snicker) I have not been around. Mainly because I've been parenting and living. I'm going to try and stay current with this as much as possible. It's rather difficult because I don't live my life on the internet. I live my life. So when I get here I get here.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
When you're married it seems other people perceive your relationship based on their on preconceived notions, experiences or current situations.
Carl and I have a great relationship mainly because he's my friend. I've blogged and said that before. We have our own jokes etc and on and on. Yeah I know its sappy. Carl as an artist or musician has never changed me or made me envy him. Never. He'll vouch for the many shows or few shows that I've attended where I'll usually post up way in the back or out the way.
And that's mainly because he becomes someone else.
He becomes KOKAYI. I know all about KOKAYI. And he's cool, humble and has star quality. He's a genius in fact. Don't let him know I said that. But I know, love and adore Carl. When he's in KOKAYI mode and whether I'm there on biz or not; I let him do KOKAYI. I'm no groupie. In fact when friends and acquaintances come to me on some KOKAYI ish about how great he is, I'm immediatly the jester. Usually I'll answer with a quick like Yeah he's alright. Yeah cool. Ummmmmm. This is not an act. I repeat this is not an act. That's just me.
I want the best out of Carl and KOKAYI. I push him as a friend, wife and artist. And I don't know what spouse wouldn't.
The kids are on Spring break and I'm worn out after watching them run around the MALL( DC's mall you know the monument etc). And now they're busted and smacked out in bed. Ahh fresh air. Dahvi has to memorize an original piece written by moi for an oratorical contest for women's month. He had already had the four line masterpiece down pat when his teacher said he needed more lines. I think I'll add two more Hip Hip Hooray's at the end and let it be. Well Hip Hop Hooray according to Dahvi.
Thursday, January 03, 2008
Mama's Back. I'm estactic to start this new year. I'm not going to get into resolutions and revolutions. 07 was a good starter year for 08. my hubby finished and released his first solo record. Man that was a long time coming. I'm proud of him for staying focused, writing producing and performing on the entire project. And yes i did lend a hand on one of the hooks.
less talk more walk is our fam and work motto. really we're just hoping and praying for more peaceful moments. trying to stay honest to ourselves and what we do despite all the dishonesty and negativity that goes on. even though I'm an aspiring songwriter, i sincerely don't want to deal with the music industry. even locally and regionally it's a bitch. there are shady, selfish, fake people at all levels. no one is really out to help each other even in a small town like DC. because sincerely DC is not a major city nor is it an industry city. i try my best to stay away from all of that and keep my eyes on the prize or to the sky. i can't worry(being the worry wart ) about what other people, artists whomever are doing. And I'm proud to say I really haven't let it affect my work etc. I remain positive.
anywho i'm really proud of my lil homies phina and dahvi. they don't return to school until Monday so they've been at home for forever. ha ha. we had fun over the holidays with fam and hanging in the country with my peeps. tb continued
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Labels: hustlin and grindin
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Today wasn't just one of those days. It was the day where I sincerely reached the edge of my crazy and held back. I'd been running around all day trying to find some long sleeve shirts for the youngins due to our recent low temps and was able to find some on sale. Then I passed my doctors appointment because seriously a regular medical exam feels like college finals or even the mcat which i have never taken. The results: HEALTHY AS A PEANUT BUT I DON"T EAT ENOUGH!! Imagine that. Oh Metabolism YOU. Time to count calories and hit the elliptical hardcore. Anywho I digress. So after picking up son and taking him to the Crown Plaza to "let loose" because why in the world would he use the bathroom before we left his school WHEN I ASKED if he had to use the bathroom! But i digress again.
So we hit the crowded blue line about 4:15 . We stand most of the ride by the doors and in front of a lady and her daughter who had the priveledge of being seated. I watch them gather their things and prepare to get up as we hit the Eastern Market stop. The mother gestured for us to get the seat. So as I swiftly move Dahvi and myself to the seat, this tall monster woman in green tweed blazer with a scrunched face bum rushes us and sits in the isle seat. WHAT!!
I'm like" Uhh Mam, We were just about to sit down here."
She says "There's still a seat here", gesturing to the seat beside her. I said in calm slightly rising voice with conviction and all the respect in the world,
" Well NO Mam, you saw us moving to this seat. We were right in front of the seat. AND besides that, the lady who just left gestured to us
to sit there."
NOW People, I realize my last point had no grounds. I mean the lady that sat there before with her daughter doesn't own Metro or that seat. But I was feeling myself getting heated.
THen Ms. Bumrush says
" Ms. THAT WHITE LADY don't own that seat. And I don't care. It's crowded."
So I reiterate in a stern conversational tone,
"Mam, What you did was very rude. The point is you saw us like everyone else on the train and decided to push past us anyway."
At which point I felt myself shaking a little. And I wondered to myself was this the brink?Was this the moment right before someone gets choked out? It felt similar to road rage( though I rarely drive but have experienced it). This was Metro Rage. This was a mean game of musical chairs without the quirky "do do do and laughter." This was my crazy. I felt warm and cold all at once.
I looked at Dahvi whom I had somehow managed to place in the seat beside THe Jolly Green Mean Giant and I could feel the tears push forward but I held them back. i held them back with everything I had. Nah she wasn't going to see me cry. I couldn't give her the satisfaction.
So I took a deep breath, grabbed my phone and started dialing random numbers. Who the hell do I call? Do I need to call the police? Why and what would I tell them. Could they arrest her for seat stealing and bumrushing without an execuse me during the height of rushour? Uhh no. I closed my phone, told Dahvi to sit back and looked blankly at the various faces around me. I received a few tired smiles that seem to say
Don't worry about this lady. She'll get hers and etc etc.
All the while I'm doing my best to stop shaking but my shaking isn't too noticeable and it's mostly in my sweaty hands. And then we reach Stadium Armory at which time an older lady with a cane gets on. She's standing so I move Dahvi and allow her to sit down. She says Thank You. Folks at this point I don't know how I started telling the older lady beside Jolly Green about what Jolly Green just did. But we started again.
And still in my regular voice with a little pitchiness to it I said
"You know what Mam you came across the right person. Next time you may not come across someone so nice." Wait folks. Wait for it. I said it. "God Bless You." Now i've never claimed to a religious person nor would ever be the type to utter those words. I do believe I'm spiritual and have been blessed etc etc. (see previous blogs) But i was never that "GOd BLess You Person." But it felt right at that moment.
And Ms. Jolly Bumrush goes" God has already blessed me."
"Well, I hope he blesses you again." I wasn't trying to be clever or anything. That's all I could muster because obviously that's what God wanted me to say. As the train halted to our stop I made a pathway for the older lady with the cane to get out. As the D-man and I made our way out of the door, another lady in a yellow blazer leaned to my ear and said
"And God's going to keep blessing YOU." and patted me on my shoulder. Somehow I mustered a meager Thanks before stepping out onto the platform and the flood of tears rushed down my face. My crazy and all my anger soaked my entire face. I tried to turn from Dahvi and called Lynn. I knew I couldn't call Carl knowing he may be on the next train and hearing me cry would make him wanna come and wreck shop. I flipped my phone and pushed the last person who had called me. i pushed the button so hard my fingers were stinging. My homie Lynn answered the phone and I let it all all out.
What she said was I should be proud that I kept my cool, didn't curse, didn't even yell and acted like a civilized person. And more than that showed my son how I can stand my ground and still maintain some level of respect even if i wasn't shown any. I can honestly say I would've acted the same way even if Dahvi wasn't with me. But if I was alone I would've probably remained on the train and stared her down all the way to Largo because I know that's where she was going.
When we get home, Dahvi hugs me. I tell him I'm just tired, told him that some people are mean and that I'm okay. I tried to keep it simple. I tried to keep it simple even on the blue line where common courtesy isn't a thought.
Monday, September 17, 2007
Yesterday my mother called and said my grandfather had a stroke. It comes as no surprise knowing that my grandfather has diabetes, hypertension, high blood pressure and high cholesterol. He used to smoke 5 or more packs of jacks a day for a good number of years as well. His eating habits are horrible to put it nicely. He's also a catankerous man who refuses to hang out with any of his fellow VA's(Korean War) and just eats and watches westerns all day everyday. And even though my mother scolds him, sneaks the bad food out of the house, and refuses to take him grocery shopping every week it was only a matter of time before something was going to happen. I pray for my grandfather who I call Pop Pop. He's stubborn enough to do a complete 360 and I hope this time he does.
BLack Love ?
Yesterday we took the kids to the Black Love Festival. The festival has been going on for 10 years. And each year it's gotten much better and crazier. I was sad to find out there really wasn't enough activities for the kids. And believe me there were kids coming out of every crevice of the park. To me some of the performances lacked originality and were not how do say kid-friendly or even okay enough for my children to half listen to. Between the shouting, cursing other cultures and a chant that involved Nigga, I was done. I thought to myself where's the love. I felt more anger from some of the groups than anything. I was glad to see some awards given to some of the elders in our community and the founder Kymone finally being recognized by the city for his efforts. I'm proud of Kymone. However I do challenge him to think more of others and to think of other ways to reach our folks. And to let his artists know as well. i don't believe in censorship but I do believe in respect. Hell I'm a traditionalist in a lot of ways. The bottom line is don't teach my children it's okay to say Nigger or Nigga. The word has come out my mouth before in the past but I have since curbed it thinking of my mother and my grandparents and their parents. Hell thinking about my kids. I support Kymone and his efforts. I'll always support any help to better our folks but it starts with responsibility of self and a new perspective. Let's not be limited in our approaches of black love or unity. And can we at least add facepainting to that. Okay well maybe Great Black American Face Painting. sorry couldn't help it.
Labels: pop pop and black love?
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Yes I'm back. I needed to take a break. We had a cool and humid summer. THe kids are back in school. Yes its' true. The D man is officially in preschool and showing all his mates how ITS really done. Phina is at a new school this year. So far I love the school, her teacher and the diverse community. both of them are doing well and seem happy. I've been busy finishing up my second play. Keep it on the hush. Ha ha. That's all I'll say about that. I've been writing a lot of songs lately and reading. I've been staying on Carl to finish his record. It should be done by Oct 1. We did the song order last night. BUTTERS! Watch out Kanye and Fifty. There's a new sheriff in town. If yall know me, rarely do you hear me chat up my hubby's talents. But he's got some fire. If he didn't I'd def speak on it. It's been a long time coming. I look forward to this fall/winter hopefully securing cool employment, ridding my life of debt, purchasing some property, putting on some dope events (FCS in the house), putting up my play and if the money's right traveling to Seattle(miss ya denee), Vegas(w homie lynn for our BDAYs), Austin(me and my hubby) and PARIS(with my homie R let's make it happen). I think I may skip Miami this year. I wanna go where everybody doesn't know my name!!
Labels: randomness aka i'm back